This is from the Coach:

CAN’T GET NOTHIN’ BY A KID

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, ‘If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?’

‘NO!’ the children answered.

‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?’

Again, the answer was, ‘NO!’

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?’ I asked them.

Again, they all answered, ‘NO!’

I was just bursting with pride for them. ‘Well,’ I continued, ‘then how can I get into Heaven?

A five-year-old boy shouted out, ‘YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.’