Bush leans over and asks Dick Cheney, “Which state is Bolivia?” Ha. I should work for the daily show.

Icebox. Really, who wants to say refrigerator? “Icebox” is easy to say and it makes perfect sense. Also, this is a direct translation of the mandarin (i.e. chinese) word for…well, icebox. Double whammy! Thus it is decreed, icebox is the official term for “white goods” in my little section of central Ohio.

As so eloquently stated by the Logipundit himself, the war of Northern Aggression unleashed a near holocaust on the genteel, kite-flying, aristocratic Southerners. Two of the perpetrators of the scorched earth policy were none other than General William T Sherman of Lancaster Ohio and Ulysses S. Grant from Point Pleasant Ohio, just 25 miles east of Cincinnati.

Now I’m sure in your history books you heard that the War of Northern Aggression was all about “Freeing the Slaves” or some such noble cause. Simpletons! Don’t you know that capitalist interest lie at the root of all war, waiting to profit on the backs of the dead? I once naively thought that the War of Northern Aggression was fought to save the Union, free the slaves, and all that jazz, but now I’ve seen the light! The war was truly fought to line the pockets of Procter and Gamble , which had a “no-bid” contract to sell candles and soap to the Union Army. Procter and Gamble is headquartered in Cincinnati, just 25 miles from where “Unconditional Surrender” Grant was born. Coincidence?

Think about it. Why did Sherman burn down Atlanta? In 1864, there were no electric lights. By burning down Atlanta, Sherman completely destroyed all the candles, not to mention soap. Where were these kite-flying southerners to buy soap and candles? Procter and Gamble.

I smell a documentary.

Seriously, these people rebuilding New Orleans should be brought before a Senate committee pronto. How dare they demand higher wages for their work simply because the market allows it. There should be some kind of law against this. An interesting take here.

You can lead an undergraduate to science, but you can’t make him think.